"You've Been Ruzzled" or "Thanks For Coming Kev"

I missed that start of last nights match as I had to collect my cue from Racks. I needn't have bothered - more on that story later.

The match was against Robert Uzzell's Windsor Ex-servicemen's Club (away), but the real battle was against our own mediocrity. By the time I had got there Patrick "Fudgemaster-P" Phelan had informed me he had just played the worst game of his life and lost to our main-man Michael "Bisto" Tizzard. 0-1.

After that the match developed in the same way as much of our season to date - as soon as one player wins in good style, another loses in equal but opposite bad style. This week it was the turn of Mike "Dessie" Salmon (missing a simple cut after "Bisto" had won) and Fitz "Titz" (making a premature but almost impossible plant on the black look easy after Martin "Hulk" Burke had won).

As I had arrived late I didn't play in the first half - with the scores tied at 3-3 the first game of the second half was all important. It was time to step up to the plate.

Earlier in the game Rob Uzzell had advised our Captain Lee that he was going to put Ally (his GF) on against me in the first frame of the second half, but I wasn't really surprised that by the time the game came around I was against their second best player.

I was feeling massive. I had seen the guy I was playing before - handing out a can of whoop-ass to Leo "The Shat" in Racks. I knew I had to have my a-game hat on. I chalked my cue and tried to look menacing.

I lost the toss - bad start but hey, this isn't cricket.

Something told me it wasn't going to be a tactical game - I knew he was going to smash the pack as hard as possible. Perhaps it was over-confidence. Perhaps it was watching him at Racks. Perhaps it was the run-up he took from the car park. Either way once the break had been made, the balls were sitting so easy he could have subbed-in my granny to finish them off. He wanted to do it himself though, so I un-chalked my cue (a la John Young) and continued my efforts at looking menacing. The closest I got to the table was to shake his hand.

Thanks for coming Kev.

The second half proceed as the first, but this time Tizzy "Bisto" lost to Robert Uzzell making Lee's last frame match-up against Ally purely academic. We lost 7-5.